Because he loves her
by Nothingness 711
Summary: He needed to talk, she made the mistake of listening to him.


_Disclaimer: I don't own CM and I don't write for money._

_Author'snote:This is the first fanfic I've ever written and may be the only one I will ever write. I don't know if it's good or if it is the worst fanfic ever, but I want to share it with you. _

_I don't know when the story takes place but it's after everyone discovered that Emily's death was a fake. _

_Even if we can understand the "story" just by reading the text, you have to know that in the storyline, JJ and Spencer were dating but they broke up. _

_This can be considered as a one shot. If the fic is not marked as completed, it's because I don't know yet if I will write other chapters or not._

_Before I stop telling my life story, I want to apologize for the possible mistakes of grammar, syntax or vocabulary: I'm French so I don't really speak very well English. _

_"Chose promise chose due": Here is my story: *_

"But I love you!" He claimed.

JJ was standing in front of him not even knowing how the conversation started.

"We already tried to go out, it didn't work and we broke up. Do you remember?

-Of course I remember that we broke up but it was not because it didn't work, it was because of our work.

-It doesn't change anything. You and me, it's over! I'm married, I have a wonderful son and I love my life.

-Then, if you're telling me the truth, if you have no more feelings for me, let me tell you what I need to say."

She sighed and looked at him, avoiding meeting his eyes. She answered:

"Fine, speak if it can help you."

He breathed deeply and started his speech:

"I'm in love with you since the beginning, since the first time saw you but I was so shy that I didn't dare invite you. When we start dating, I was so happy, happier than I thought a man could be. And then, because of this Strauss, we broke up because we both wanted to keep a job at the BAU. Already at that time, I knew that what I wanted more than a job were you. But I shut up, I tried to stifle my feelings telling myself that seeing you every day was enough and I took it."

She was listening silently. At times, her heart missed a beating, she was really touched by his words but she didn't want to let him see anything. He was still speaking:

"And then, one event occurred and changed everything: Will appeared. Of course, I knew you were going to find someone but I thought I would be brave enough to confess you my feelings before you do but I didn't and once again I shut my mouth. After, you got pregnant, you married this guy and my heart fell into pieces. I tried to be glad for you; I came to work holding back my feelings more and more each day. I wanted so much to make them disappear and I thought I succeeded but, of course, I didn't. When you left the BAU, I realized that my feelings didn't disappear at all, that they didn't even subside, that they were still so strong and that living without seeing you was even worse than seeing you and not being allowed to kiss you. This time again, I took it, I don't know how but I did."

She was still listening, very close to break down. His throat was more and more tightened, he had difficulty in speaking. However he went on:

"After Emily's "death", I had a good reason to come and see you. I was torn between sadness and happiness. I was sad because I lost a friend but I was glad to be with you, to be in your arms once more. I was so happy when you came back to the BAU although I was sad of not being with you all the time. When I found out you lied to me about Emily, I thought I had the best reason I could ever have to hate you but I just can't. The fact is you're the first woman I've ever really loved, and I'll always love you whatever you do. You can go away, you can lie to me or break me hundreds of time, my heart will always be yours."

He finally fell silence, almost crying and staring at her. Her throat was so tight that she couldn't speak and her eyes were bright of tears but she didn't want to let them run down, not in front of him. He spoke:

"As you said, you're glad of your new life. But I know that what I said can't just leave you cold so please say something."

He was begging her to tell something, she couldn't refuse him that, so she did.

"I..."

The sound of a car parking in the alley stopped her. He looked down and talked again:

"Your husband is coming home, I should leave. I really hope you'll always be happy, it would comfort a part of me."

Just at the end of his sentence, the door opened and Will came in.

"Spencer, what are you doing here? He said surprised.

-I just came to talk.

-Ok, then I don't bother you more. Good to see you."

Reid smiled at him and Will disappeared in the kitchen.

"I should go. Thank you for listening to what I needed to tell you."

He opened the door and got out of the house without letting her speak. JJ went to the window and watched him until he faded away into the night, finally allowing one tear to flow.

_Voilà! I hope you enjoyed it. Review if you want, good things, bad things: I'll take everything._

_Bye. Gaëlle. _


End file.
